God is good

Two years ago today we got on an evacuation flight from port au prince to Paris set up by the French government.   When I write these kind of things it feels surreal, like how did this ever happen to us! 

Anyway two days before this was truly an awful day.  We were told at 8.30pm the night before be at the airport at 10am, this is your last chance to get out of Haiti.  The world was shutting down and no one had any idea how covid was going to affect people. 

After hours of phoning embassies and waiting for them to find a way, we couldn't wait any longer and our whole OMS team left and we were not able to go.  We said goodbye to the people we had been living alongside for the past 4 years in the airport thinking we would see some of them again in August when we all returned to Haiti or so we thought.  We also said goodbye to the Ayars who we knew were not returning to Haiti.  It was terrible not at all how we imagined our last day in Haiti together. 

August came around and we couldn't go back, some of our team did, some didn't. At this point I really did think we will probably never see them again and our last time together was that terrible day in the aiport. 

Now fast forward to today, today almost two years to the day when travel has not been easy, when life has still been turned upside down for so many people because of covid we have managed to spend time with almost  all of those people we said terrible teary goodbyes to at the aiport. 

We saw Janeen and Dave in Haiti (Marilyn we missed you!)and Kacie&Miken who left a couple of weeks before us.  We spent a week with the Ayars, a week with the Grosses and today we saw Colleen.  We have even got to see a few other missionaries who left during our time, Kate, the Loves and the Michels. 

The lesson I've learned first is that God is good. He knows what we need and when we need it.  He knew it was going to be important for us to spend time with all of those people and talk through that day and say goodbye well.

Now we had a second evacuation, not as dramatic but definitely not planned. We didn't get to finish all the things we planned in Haiti.  We didn't get to see everyone we wanted to.  We didn't get to visit all the places we wanted to. I have a list and I am confident that one day, I have no idea when, that we will get to return to Haiti and do all those things and visit all the people. 

Secondly we never ever know what is around the corner.  Although we would not have chosen to leave Haiti in December it did give us time and opportunity to see most of our OMS team. I've even see Dr Rodney since leaving in December at board meetings!

So we have to trust that God is in control, that he knows best even when's its difficult. 

Going home

Just about two weeks ago we found out that our tenant is moving out of our house at the end of March which means we are now able to move back into our own home the first week in April.  This is a massive answer to prayer, the day before we received the email I was searching the internet for somewhere to stay short term and I could not find anything at all. 

So we are now booked to arrive home to Northern Ireland the first week in April. 

We are ready to go. 

Ready to get home and get settled.  Ready to not fly again, at least for a while anyway.  Ready for the boys to go back to school.  Ready to go to our own church and get involved. Ready to see our family and friends and know we don't have to try and cram in as much time with them as possible. 

This time in Canada has been good but very much felt temporary and I don't think it quite feels real that we are not going back to Haiti, that now moving to Northern Ireland is permanent. 

From what I have read and experienced having spent two short term periods of time in Haiti moving home from the mission field, or re entry as its called is actually much more difficult than going to the mission field.

Our last day in Haiti December 2021. 

July 2016 just after we moved to Haiti 

We got Bello Bello after just a few weeks. 

For the boys it was the hardest thing to leave Bello behind. 

Its a very strange feeling, it will be so good to be home with family and friends, to have access to many things (mainly different foods and fuel) that make life a lot easier.  It way less tiring to live life in your own language and culture.  Yet even with all of those wonderful things there is always part of you which longs to be back living in Haiti.  

I guess its because of a variety of factors, somehow over the past 5 years Haiti has become home.  Not that Northern Ireland isn't home, it is, the farm also feels like home but Haiti may be the place for right now which feels most like home. Which is bizarre because it is definitely the most difficult place to live. 

I don't think I can describe very well the feelings of grief and guilt which come with leaving the mission field and moving home.  They are those very same feelings which you get when you leave your family behind to go.  

You feel like you don't quite fit in, the same way you didn't quite fit in when you moved overseas. You see, living in a different country and culture changes you.  You see life through a different lens. Those of you who have been on a short term mission trip will understand a little of what I am talking about.  Remember how it feels when you get home.  You can't stop talking about your trip, you are all fired up, ready to change the world and live your life differently.  Your perspective has changed. 

Now imagine that same feeling after years of living overseas, the perspective is now very different, you have adapted to a different culture and sometimes there are ideas in other cultures which are better than your home culture, sometimes you can't really remember what some parts of your home culture are.  So sometimes things feel a little strange.  

Let me just give you a small, somewhat insignificant example.  When we moved to Haiti we always told Sam to put his shoes on before he went out to play, this lasted about a week and our boys are now most comfortable barefoot especially when they are playing.  At home in Haiti they only wore shoes to school and church and even in school when they were in kindergarten they took them off once they were inside the classroom. The rest of the time inside or outside they went barefoot.  Now at home they are always barefoot, we always have what feels like a million socks lying all over the house.  When we go to the playground they often take their shoes and sometimes socks off, which doesn't bother me but I have noticed is once they do it, other kids around them start doing the same thing and then I hear a lot of parents telling their kids to put their shoes back on. This is because culturally it is normal for kids to wear shoes outside so now I have to decide do I make the boys put their shoes on at the park because its culturally normal or do I let them play in barefoot like they are used to. This is just a very small example which is not a big deal at all but something I would have never had to think about before we went overseas because our boys would have just always worn shoes outside. 

I guess shirts are also optional in Haiti! 

So yes we are looking forward to being home.  There are so many things we are looking forward to but there are also so many things we will miss.  When August rolls around it will be very strange to not be going back to Haiti.  A huge part of me wishes we were still there, it's difficult to see posts and videos and photos of friends still living there and to not be part of that.  Yet another part of me that cannot wait to be home in Northern Ireland and stay in one place. Its a strange place to be at. 

We know that Haiti will always be a part of our lives and we really hope to be able to visit and stay involved as much as we can. 

So maybe this will be my last post until we make it back to visit someday.  I am not sure, or maybe I will write about some of our experiences I never got time to share.   Until then here are a few pictures of Haiti.